i have been too busy making fake money while im ill in bed all week, i need to get busy making real money.

when i got well enough to sit up and walk around the house, i started eating all the spicy and all the heaty i can find...
national day and i had pizza...
and bad tasting movies.

sitting home yet still cant bring myself to believe that it has come to this stage of my life,
yknw win some, lose some?
strangely, you would think i'd wish for them to start speaking to me again...
but somehow, knowing how they can do this sorta thing over something like that to some one like me?
the dynamics of my life and family turned topsy turvy... it almost seems like there is no turning back... even if i walked the path they tell me to walk... which is dark, sad and lonely... and those are just understatements to how it is.
still, doesnt bring back your family.
even if one day they physically start speaking to me, i know ive lost their souls.
its difficult to explain.it's just not right.

"it needs to happen so that freedom and more happiness can occur between you and a more profound relationship can begin."